10 Questions

So to prepare for 2019, I borrowed these ten questions from

GirlBoss

to set goals for myself. I think, and many would agree that reflection is key to moving forward and to not repeat the past. As Rachel Gersten states, "...it’s key to spend some time with yourself before just making plans to achieve things that you may not feel strongly about.”

1. What are you most proud of in 2018?

I think that one of the things that I am proud of is the growth. Because Lord, I was not the person I was at the beginning of 2018. I think as I take a moment to brag about myself, I can say that I have indeed grown. However, what I'm really proud of bringing my sorority, Sorority of the Year for the efforts put forth in the Fall 2017 into Spring 2018. Going into the president role that was one of my goals and after many headaches, heartaches and late nights, my dream was brought into fruition.

2. When did you feel most creative?

I felt most creative during the summer months when I was studying abroad and filming my adventures and working on my blog. I pretty much became a photographer, and videographer in 30 days along with teaching myself basic coding for my website. It's interesting because the majority of the time, my entries are typed in the code block to give the effects that I need that can't occur in the regular text box. (If you're a user of Squarespace you'll understand what I mean) Also during the summer I designed and painted two paddles, which I had never done before. I think the relaxation of not being pressed for time with school assignments and sorority obligations allowed me to be more free flowing with the creative juices.

3. What was your biggest mistake?

I think my biggest mistake is not taking things as they are. To elaborate, I believe that I had written in previous blogs that I have these standards that sometimes I need to recognize that not everyone can meet. I think that I have yet to get to the point where I'm just satisfied with someones to attempt instead of blowing it off because it wasn't wholly everything I needed or wanted. I say this was a mistake because I think this played a role in the fall out of a relationship. I also believe that if I just start taking things as they are that will lead to less emotional turmoil, hurt and disappointments.

4. Was there a point at which you felt stuck?

So the last couple of months of 2018 I had felt really stuck because there was a cloud of "I don't really know what's going on." Now I could have easily fixed this feeling; however, I was still trying to sift through what it was I actually needed. The feeling of being stuck has pretty much tormented me and ate at my psyche because instead of acting on what I knew would remove the sense I played every scenario possible and imagined things that probably wouldn't even happen. However, I think that I can no longer remain in this space of being stuck and plan to do something about it.

5. Did you make time for yourself this year?

Interesting question. I think I attempted to. I can say I feel like I didn't make enough time for my self. Also, I can say that journaling has helped me create these moments of just me. So I think that in 2019, I want to continue journaling, which thanks to Devonte's mom purchasing me a new journal with an extra blank pack, I can actually do so. In 2019, I want to take time for myself at least once a week to do something that I enjoy...if that's writing a blog piece or journalling or taking a hike, which now that I know there's a trail 20 minutes from the house, this should be doable.

6. Who is one person you met that inspired you?

One person that has inspired me is... ( I always struggle with these questions because I don't actively look for someone to fulfill this role) I think I would have to say Michelle Guobadia. I think a lot can be learned from this woman. She inspires me to do and be more, maybe she doesn't state it outright but by her own actions in her own life does it call for me to boss up and do the same. She saw something in me 2 years back when I first came into the sorority, to where she pegged me to take on leadership roles I didn't even think of and because of that I try not to let her down.

7. How have you changed this year?

El oh El. Honestly, I know I've changed. I personally think that some aspects my communication has improved from what it was initially because chile, I really was not trying to hold conversations where I expressed my thoughts or how I felt because I thought that it just wasn't worth the time. I also believe that I've reorganized what my priorities were. Once I accomplished my Zeta goal, I felt that lift off of me, and that gave me time to focus on the future and what I wanted to do post-grad. I think I'm starting to come into the realization of how I operate as a person, I'm developing my own personal set of morals and ethics that are allowing me to align myself with like-minded people. I also think that I've changed to where that I am more in tune with my feelings and how I express those feelings. To elaborate on that, I feel that I am currently in a space where I can allow my feelings out in the open and not have them abused.

8. If you could snap your fingers and master one skill, what would it be?

If I could snap my fingers and master one skill, I would want it to be an enhanced graphic design skillset. Granted I already dabble in some graphic design, like everything else there is always something else to be learned. Interesting that I would pick this skillset because Devonte always says I should do it more. So hopefully with the year, 2019 more things can come about it. Currently, I've been teaching myself via Youtube, and I'm curious to see what actually classes could provide me. I also have talked to Devonte about taking on more graphic design projects, so hopefully, I act on my fleeting thoughts and actually bring it into fruition. If it happens, I'll be sure to quote this blog post.

9. Did you ever get caught in a self-doubt trap?

YES! One if you didn't PUHLEASE let me know how you avoided the trap. TWO if you did find yourself in the trap...share how you get out of it or use it to propel you forward. I want to say that I was probably stuck in that trap more often than I should have been, but using that knowledge, I want to work on believing in myself more #All2019. I wholeheartedly believe that I am the only holding myself back. There were times that I doubted my future and how school was going for me, there were times I doubted my financial stability and how the future would throw that into disarray. There were times I doubted if would make it. I just doubted. BUT. I'm here. I made despite the self-doubt.

10. Who do you want to be by the end of 2019?

I love this question. Who do I want to be by the end of 2019... I want to be a more authentic version of who I am now. I want to be a person of growth in ALL aspects. I don't know how to elaborate on that part. I want to become who Abigale is supposed to be and to be the person that is ok with whomever that person is.