So I Did A Thing

I went to Therapy.

I've been thinking about going for a while now and today was the day I decided to make a phone call to the UNC Charlotte Counseling and Psychological Services. I was secretly hoping that they wouldn't pick up. Because one it was still Christmas Break and Two I wasn't sure if I was ready for this.

BUT WHOEVER IS READY TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS?

I had a meeting beforehand with a Soror, so I took that as a way NOT dwell on the fact that I...me... was going to talk to a therapist. However, let's have an honest moment. Why was I so scared? Was it because I was only going because I needed someone else to tell me the answer I already knew? Alternatively, was it because in that one phone call I admitted that I was weak? Was it because the stigma around therapy was looing overhead or was it because the concept of laying on the couch and telling my problems was so cliche and foreign to me.

But I went.

I filled out the initial paperwork and waited to be called back.

I was thinking to myself; maybe I should have asked for a person of color to be my therapist. Or perhaps it's not too late to just walk out and get back into my car. I wasn't even entirely sure what I was going to talk about. Or how to even bring up what was bothering me. But I was called back, and there was no turning back.

We talked for about 40-45 minutes. From beginning to end. And overall, I felt (as cliche as it sounds) like lighter. With the Counselors help, we talked through some things and the one thing I think I appreciated the most was the question:

What is it you want?

and

what if you don't get that?

Before talking to the counselor mind you, I had talked to maybe three other people about the situation, and they had all given me their opinions on the matter, but none of them gave me the RIGHT opinion. The opinion that I had already formulated in my head as being the RIGHT thing to do. When I went to the counseling session...the counselor more or less just listened and reiterated what I already had stated. He didn't really give his opinion, only to say that I think that my decision to have a conversation shows I want to be a good friend.

At the end of the session, we came up with a game plan so to speak on what I would do next? What was my next step? Because it would be foolish to think that just going to a therapy session was going to actually solve the problem. I told him that I would text her before the next weekend and we would set up a time to meet. I told him that I would, and he jokingly stated, I'm interested to see what you're going to do and how this story will unfold. I laughed as I said goodbye and told him me and you both.

edit to the original post

January 4th

... I sent the text.
Abigale GodwinComment