I just want to make you proud.

I think, and I could be wrong, but then again I don't think I am..BUT I feel that every kid wants to make their parents (or maybe even an older sibling) proud.

I was listening to Black Girl Podcast Episode 46

(Starting at 2:20:40 if you care to listen to what I'm referencing on your own time)

and they were going through three people who inspired them this past year and Bex said, that her top number 1 person who inspired her was her older Sister, Debbie. BUT it was at the time mark 2:22:40 where Bex says,

"I'm really proud of her. I'm really proud of her, and I want her to turn around and be proud of me too."

Mannnnn that last part...that last part did it for me. The waterworks just came through.

Our parents (or sibling), more or less, give us their all, they sometimes work ridiculous jobs with ridiculous hours all so that we can want for nothing growing up. They spend money they don't have on things we probably could live without. They come home after a stressful shift and still manage to find a way to make sure we're fed. They may work 40 hours a week, but they still show up for all our football games.

We forget that our parents are in fact human like us and sometimes even our superheroes need to be


and told a simple

thank you

. But merely saying thank you isn't enough.

We want to create a life for ourselves where we can give them what they gave us. We want them to want for nothing. We want to pay their bills, we want to be able to take them to fancy dates or just give them money because we can. That's how we want to say thank you. We thank them by making them


of us.

I think sometimes I feel like I'm not doing all that I can to make my mom proud. I think that at times I'm letting her down by not being where she says I should be in life at the current moment. I think that I should have listened to her 4 years ago, and I


have, to be honest. BUT I didn't, and we're here now.

SO what do I do now? Do I still have a chance of making her proud even though it's not what she wanted? Will following my own path ultimately lead to the same destination?

because at the end of the day

I just want to make her proud.

Abigale Godwin3 Comments